Thursday, 29 March 2012

D'Wild Wild Weng (1982)

Weng Weng ardent followers definitely figure, that our tiny geezer went further ahead after scoring bigtime with his original classic "For Y'ur Height Only" (1981) diving into much weirder areas! While his cult spysploitation flick was taking over American nests frying the brains of their owners, Weng Weng proceeded with his career and did few more hectic B-movies, which unfortunately didn't make it all through Filipino border. One of these oddities, which luckily got imported and retouched for American public by the same mocking crew – these guys must've had plenty of fun doing the audio, no doubt – was wacky Pinoy western "D'Wild Wild Weng". Produced as usually on a shoestring budget by the same, famous film cook – Eddie Nicart, it dropped Weng Weng as Mr. Weng into bizarre, western setting with another off-beat character, 7 ft tall giant named Gordon (Max Laurel)... and the rest is a real trip, man!

While this superduo heads to Santa Monica and Mr. Weng shows off his kimono – "a very dangerous place", we get to hear from randomly encountered, midget Indian – our heroes find out, that town has just been raided by a merciless bandito named Sebastian, whose band butchered the mayor and his family, raped local women, live stock and then pillaged all that was to be pillaged. However, Mr. Weng digs it as his secret mission is to bring peace and harmony back to this once idyllic land. He's not the type to be messed with (oh no!), capable of killing motherfuckers with all deadly kung fu techniques you've seen in "Enter The Dragon" and being extreme marksman – on the top of that he's the master of art of being totally invisible. Nevertheless, to accomplish his assignment Mr. Weng will have to play it rough. He'll nick banana from the table (sitting in a sack under a bench), fight Sebastian's regiment of black ninjas, escape from the prison hidden under Gordon's frock and protect lady of his heart from being violated and butchered by the brutes.

But before our hot turkeys get down to it, they will sneak into the town and find mayor's deputy – Lupo with his tongue ripped off, being able to make only pathetic (but funny), squeeling noise. Somehow they manage to get what poor lad is jabbering and make the shit boiling. There it goes, man! It's a real ride – no matter what this plot is about – including martial arts combat, heavy machine gun massacre, a passionate romance, war tricks, strategy planning, tall grass chase, doublecrossing and absolutely unforgettable lines like: Keep your cool, sword of the samurai will not be used that way! Mr. Weng is all about latest fashion as well, running around and delivering justice in a mariachi suit and white, ruffled shirt. These scenes are certainly charged with great Mexican music, washing out Ennio Morricone's spaghetti themes. Retarded circus type of acting with frequent slapstick gestures and grimaces sneaking in – that's your kind of fruit, so don't worry about it! It'll put you on a rollercoaster of histerical giggle!

If you still need to ask what it is, I'd say something of Sergio Corbucci's spaghetti western crossed with "Enter The Ninja" and "The Freaks". Whets your appetite? I thought so! Don't hesitate, I'm sure you wanna see a scene with banana. And the ninjas on the desert? That's like a cherry on a vanilla shake. Midget Indians more effective than SAS, Navy Seals and X-Men altogether – head down here! Western town looking like a typical Filipino village with chickens creatively enriching the landscape – you got it now! This distinctive Asian exploitation flavour is unmistakable in "D'Wild Wild Weng" – a feast for the nerds, stoners and exploitation fishermen. Ass-cracking high pitch whistle of all, that is too bad to be true in a low-budget cinema! Eddie Nicart confirms his status as a chaplain of trash by getting it all covered here – he even directed the stunts. If you ever find anything weirder than Weng Weng's exploits, let me know. This guy was Peter Sellers of camp – small in height, but big in style!

Full movie

[The movie can be purchased from Cinema de Bizarre]

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